Tattered Gowns & Racing Hearts: Combatting Bridal Anxiety
This post originally appeared on our old site Born to be a Bride.
The onslaught of the anxiety-induced bridal nightmares has truly begun. In the beginning, I had some strange ones that had me waking in a mild panic, turning over to stroke the cheek of my beloved, and then falling back–hard–to sleep. No, no, subconscious! You were not satisfied. Now you have decided that my dreams need to be simply rattled by terrifying day-of wedding disaster. Thanks a lot.
I woke up the other morning panting and sweating from one of those nightmares in which one finds oneself folded up in the corner on the floor in a heap tears, praying that this is, in fact, a nightmare, and not actually happening. It was the day of the wedding. For some reason my wedding was no longer happening on the beach in Westhampton and instead, two hundred people I’ve never met before were flooding the first floor of my mother’s home on the North Shore of Long Island.
I was not only expected to receive these guests upon entry but was taking coats, pouring beers, and lugging bags of garbage out to the back. All in my wedding dress. Suddenly we realized I had no veil, no bridesmaids, no groom, and no centerpieces. It’s unclear to me now which of these was most troubling in the moment but I assure you that in real life, I would care most about the missing groom.
I looked down at my dress and it was tattered to ribbons, soaked in mud at the bottom and–gasp–too tight. My heart began to race. No one was listening to me. Oh wait, they couldn’t actually hear me. As my family reveled with these unknown guests, and the hour of my nuptials drew near with still no sign of any of the major players, or the centerpieces for godssakes, I just fell into the corner of the dining room and began to cry.
No one even looked up from what they were doing.
Yes, I have had nightmares about falling down flights of stairs, being responsible for the death of a loved one, driving off the highway, being chased by a mad murderer, and so on and so on. But the sheer panic and devastation I felt in the nightmare of the ruined dress, the missing groom and the uncaring family is right up there on the list of the worst dreams ever.
The good news? I woke up and he was right beside me. And I called my mother … the centerpieces and veil will be there, too.