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  • Writer's pictureJenny

9 Months Pregnant & What I Wish People Wouldn't Say...

This post originally appeared on our old blog, Born to be a Bride.

We’ve talked tons about weddings over the course of the past week, but I thought I’d pepper in some baby chat at the request of many readers who’ve reached out asking how far along I am, how we’re doing/feeling, what I’m wearing these days, and how the nursery is coming along. You’ll see our nine-month bump reveal this weekend as I’m heading toward Week 36, but today we’re in 35 and I feel pretty great.

Okay, that’s a lie. I actually feel pretty awful. I was stricken with crippling sciatica a week and a half ago, an ailment from which my grandmother used to suffer that can make walking (and even sitting and lying down) incredibly painful. Apparently, my hips can’t support the weight of Baby Girl, who has shifted my pelvis off-center, pinching the sciatic nerve. Since pain meds are out, and Tylenol doesn’t do anything, I’ve been working with a series of chiropractic and massage appointments, targeted exercises, heat/ice rotation, and other natural methods. It’s not going too great.

After being so fit and active throughout my pregnancy, it feels depressing to find myself at times unable to even walk from the living room to the kitchen for a glass of water. It’s not easy on Josh, either, who’s helpless in fixing it and can’t stand watching his wife suffer. I was fortunate enough to make it to yoga on Monday night and did a fairly productive, healing flow after which I felt amazing. But the third trimester is a bitch, as much as I love this baby. So there’s the truth on how I’m feeling — sorry if you wanted something rosier!

(now for the rant!)

Also! I am beyond sick of being told by other mothers to “sleep now, while you still can” or “get all your errands done, before you can never leave the house again.” This baby is a blessing, for starters. Then there’s the fact that I’m not an idiot. I know I’m going to be a sleep-deprived, leaky-boobed mess throughout the holiday season and into the New Year. But keep your mama drama to yourself. Whatever challenges lie ahead of me, they are mine and they are not to be determined or informed by yours.

It doesn’t help a mommy-to-be to scare her into believing she’ll never be able to take a shower or get a yoga class in. It seems unnecessarily mean to spout these warnings off, whether to a stranger or a friend. My husband and I knew what we were signing up for when we decided to have a baby. And I’m perfectly terrified about the responsibility and the logistics — don’t make it worse by unloading your crap onto me. Make it better by telling me, “You’re going to be such a great mom!” or even, “Call me when the baby’s here and I’ll come over with coffee.”

Easy. Freaking. Peasy.

(…and finally, the fun stuff)

I’ve been enjoying fall fashion as much as one can when she doesn’t own maternity shirts and the old stretchy ones won’t really cover the bump. Yesterday I sported a really cute Calypso St Barth tee that I purchased as a dress (oh, to be 22 again…) which now works beautifully as a preggo tunic. I paired it with my trusty H&M gray skinny maternity jeans, black moto boots, and my black leather bomber jacket that I live in these days.

A lot of mom friends I polled recently told me that they wore a lot of extra-long tanks and tees while pregnant to stretch down over the bump but still integrate in their post-baby wardrobe. A smart plan. With only about 5 weeks left to go, I’m not really into the idea of buying anything new, so for now it’s about adapting what’s already in my wardrobe and employing stretchy items that used to be slouchy. Most of my Vince tees and sweaters are serving me well, and the Gap also has a ton of basics that can flatter the bump. Forget those overpriced maternity tops you’ll ditch in a few months!

(nursery details coming soon!)

The most burning question I keep getting is “when will we see the nursery?” I know, I know. I actually read recently that this should have been done in Month 7, but here we are sliding into 9 and it’s not quite there. Let me ‘splain. Josh and I are in the process of moving (again) and it’s been a little nuts over here. Our daughter’s room is the first thing we started working on, but we’re still adding the finishing touches. I can tell you this: the palette has shifted from purely neutrals to mostly gray with pops of pink and gold. The furniture is all in, except for our darling rocker which arrives this Saturday.

About 80% of the wall art has been affixed, and we’re just plotting the purchase of the piece de resistance, an item I can’t wait to show you. Once Baby Girl is here and has a name, we’ll create a custom gold monogram to stick on the wall above her crib, but aside from that, I’d like to have the whole nursery completed by the end of this weekend. A full post will follow next week, but here are a couple little peeks:

So, that’s what’s new in this pregnant lady’s life. Some pain, some angst, and plenty of nesting fun. No matter how tough this time is on me physically and emotionally, I know it will all be worth it when I meet my little chicken in a few short weeks. Till then, I won’t be “catching up on sleep” — let’s get real, no one can sleep when they’re this uncomfortable. I also won’t be “getting in every errand imaginable” as I move at a snail’s pace and every step hurts. Instead, I’m writing, washing and folding baby clothes, and doing my best to prepare healthy, yummy meals for my husband and myself. Mamas — do what you want. Take on what you can handle. Ignore the people, however well-meaning, who add more stress to your list. You’re the only one who can determine how your pregnancy goes. And the same will be true of motherhood.


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